


Bones' Perfect Men

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Jowels, M/M, Mirror folk, Motor Boating, Sex, tie dye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 03:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3880501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Typical distress call from an unknown planet. They beam the fella up but get double what they were expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bones' Perfect Men

**Author's Note:**

> Some say he was homophobic and some say he was Star Trek-phobic.

The Enterprise ways on its merry way to a space station to pick up some supplies. As it passed an unknown planet, the communications started to blow up. 

“Crooks! Crooks! Crooks!”

“What in the hell could this be?” Kirk said.

“Sensors read that there is a human being down there and they are suffocating. I suggest that we beam them up, captain.” Spock said

“Aright, alright let's go to the transporter room to give our guest a visit.”

When they arrived at the transporter room, Bones was waiting there.

“Dammit, Jim, I just want to see if it is an attractive guy!” McCoy yelled.

“We'll see in a minute, Bones”

The transporter beam began to materialize, but there were two human figures. When it was complete, there were two men standing there. Presidential men. They were Richard M. Nixon and mirror Richard M. Nixon. The regular one was dressed in his normal suit and tie. The mirror Nixon was wearing a tie dye shirt and some tie dye pants. His jowels were painted in a pretty tie dye pattern. 

“Dammit, hippies!” They said in unison.

The normal Nixon stormed off to the sickbay and the mirror Nixon skipped his way there.

“Dammit, Jim, I've found my attractive men! Now, I'll go take care of them.”

Bones hurried his way to the sickbay to see what he could do with his new men.

“Alright, damn Nixons, I can smell the horny on both of you. You two wanna get right down and, dammit, fuck?”

The regular Nixon said “Your damn president would love to!”

The mirror Nixon said “Damn hippie, man! Free love and whatnot!”

They all grabbed each other and jumped onto one of the beds. McCoy threw his shirt off. The two Nixons went right for his wrinkly old chest. They both motorboated him. Regular Nixon's jowels started flowing and mirror Nixon's jowels started flowing in a psychedelic experience that you won't find anywhere else. McCoy was finally getting what a good doctor deserved.

Then, the Nixons got up and McCoy removed the rest of his clothing. He got on his hands and knees on the bed and regular Nixon put his dick in McCoy's ass while mirror Nixon put his dick in McCoy's mouth. Both Nixon's only took one pump and they were finished. 

“DAMMIT! You two are damn pathetic! I can't have any hot guy without them cumming within two seconds of getting their damn dicks wet! It's a fucking disgrace!”  
Regular Nixon exploded in a fire of red, white, and blue. Mirror Nixon exploded in a psychedelic cloud of many colors known and unknown. 

“Look! They fucking fart afterwards! What kind of people are they? I'm sticking to damn Vulcans from now on. I need my damn Spock!”


End file.
